Have you ever had one of those days when you just can’t wait to go to bed? I had one yesterday.
I found out I have mold and termites in my house. EEK!
I had been suspecting something was wrong with our air because we were all having unusual sinus problems that would not go away.
After the initial shock of the price quotes, I decided to have a glass of wine and understand what I needed to learn. There had to be a way to reframe this into something positive.
Here’s what I discovered after my second glass of wine and some good old fashioned introspection….
The mold and termites were silent. We couldn’t see, hear or feel anything until damage had been done. I looked at my life and wondered what else was silently affecting me that I needed to deal with.
I had been feeling uncomfortable lately. But nothing was wrong, in fact, my life was better than ever. My business was growing and I was in a great place.
Then I saw this quote on Facebook….
What if I fall?
Oh, but my Darling, what if you Fly?
Then it hit me. I was afraid of success. Big things were happening in my life and doors were opening. I was taking huge risks and making decisions that were completely outside my comfort zone.
Fear of success is a foreign concept for most of us. It seems so strange that we would be afraid of getting everything we want. It’s counterintuitive.
The fear of success is much different than the fear of failure. And it’s more dangerous because it exists on an unconscious level where it is hidden from our view.
Marianne Williamson said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
I was in a meeting recently with 6 powerful women entrepreneurs. One of them said, “I know my business has the potential to be bigger than my wildest dreams, and it scares me”.
Working hard and achieving your goals is exciting. But it can also bring new challenges and new problems.
So what is so scary about success?
1. We fear what comes with success – working long hours, being away from our families. Balancing work with life. Getting it all done.
2. We are afraid that the higher we climb, the further we fall when we mess up.
3. We fear the criticism and the haters. We want to be liked.
4. We feel our relationship may suffer and we could lose the ones we love.
5. We are worried that we won’t be able to maintain it and we will lose it all.
6. We fear we will make the wrong decisions and make mistakes.
How do we overcome the fear of success?
1. When you have to make big decisions, don’t rush. Pay attention to your intuition. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.
2. Trust yourself. You know more than you think. When we venture into new territory, we doubt ourselves. Use the same wisdom that got you there to get you to the next level.
3. When you get overwhelmed by the big picture, stop and break it down into bite sized pieces.
4. Create a plan. When you get out of your head and get your thoughts onto paper, things become clearer and more manageable.
5. Get support. Build a great team to help you.
6. Be selective about the people you spend time with. Make sure your friendships are authentic and the advice you are receiving is unbiased and agenda-free.
7. Unplug. Relax. When you step away, you get clarity.
8. Most importantly, have Faith. Faith is knowing that there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught to fly.
Everything you want is waiting for you. All you need to do is step out of your own way.