Fear is Your Friend

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“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world”    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s true.  I have seen countless people over the years sacrifice happiness, health, wealth and love because of fear.

Fear of failure, fear of public speaking, fear of snakes, fear of commitment, fear of being alone, fear of abandonment, fear of hurting someone and fear of fear itself.

Then there are some really strange fears…..


Pteronophobia:  Fear of being tickled with feathers

Nomophobia:  Fear of losing cell phone contact (I think I have this one)

Arachibutyrophobia:  Fear of peanut butter sticking to your mouth.

Pogonophobia:  Fear of Beards.  (I felt this watching the Red Sox Post Season)

Turophobia:  Fear of Cheese  (cheese can be terrifying)

Fear causes all kinds of problems in our lives.   We are clueless to the real cost of our fears.

Can fear be overcome?  Do we need to strive to be fearless?

No.  I think we need to stop obsessing over it and just let it be.   The more we resist something, the more it persists.

Fear is a natural part of life.  Fear keeps you alive.  It makes you feel alive.  Fear is a sign you are stepping outside your comfort zone.   Fear usually comes before a big breakthrough.  Fear builds confidence.

Henry Fonda threw up before every performance until the day he died.  He never overcame his fear, however, he did not let it stop him.  Once he got into the action, his fear subsided and he felt better.

Instead of focusing on not being afraid, focus on being strong.   Strength helps you to act in the face of fear.

It’s perfectly okay to be afraid before you speak in public.  I still get scared and I’ve done it thousands of times.  You just feel the fear and get your butt in gear.

It’s okay to be afraid of commitment, but don’t let it stop you from having a fulfilling relationship.

Go ahead, be afraid of failure, success, losing or winning, but don’t let that stop you from living your dream.

Failure is not fun, it’s horrible.  But failure is a crucial to your growth.  How you respond to failure will determine your level of success.  Do you let it define you?  Depress you? Debilitate you? Or do you pick yourself up, wipe yourself off and get back on the horse?  Fear of failure will stop you, but only if you let it.

Fear can’t always be overcome, but it can be managed.  Become masterful at managing your fear and watch your life transform.

I will never overcome the fear of something bad happening to someone I love.  But I don’t need to.  I have learned how to manage it with prayer, faith, positive thinking, reframing and distraction.

I will never overcome my fear of sharks.  I jumped on top of one last summer while snorkeling.  Facing that fear did me no good – they still freak me out.  But when I see one, I know what to do – stay calm and swim like hell to the boat!

Worry and Fear are partners in crime.  They will wake you up in the middle of the night and remind you over and over of all the things that could go wrong in your life.  They are right next to you when your teenager is out past her curfew or when your husband isn’t answering his phone at 1AM.

Take control and manage your fear. Don’t let it manage you.

Strengthen your faith,  Faith comes in handy when you are uncertain about the future.  When we pray, we feel more peaceful.  Prayer is your most powerful weapon to fight fear.

Start acting in the face of fear.   Feel the fear and do it anyway.  Stop allowing fear to steal your happiness, your success and your future.

Fear + Strength + Action + Faith = Everything you want.

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