People say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. ~Zig Ziglar
We motivate people every day – our kids, employees, prospects, bosses, spouses, friends or people we hire to provide a service for us. There are times when we need to put a little fire under someone’s butt to get things done or to help someone help themselves.
Here are a couple of secrets that I use with my clients to help them get and stay motivated.
1. Get into their world
Too often, we try to motivate someone by getting them to see things as we see them. This won’t work. We need to understand their values, hot buttons, needs and wants.
I know that your view is usually the right one 🙂 , but it holds no weight if the other person sees things differently. It’s easier to get in their shoes than to make them fit into yours.
Once you understand their view of life, then you can motivate them to take action and get more of what they want.
I have a client who incentivized his employee with bonuses hoping it would increase her performance. It didn’t work. Later he found out that she was not motivated by money (yes, this does exist!), she was motivated by acknowledgement and a sense of accomplishment. So he showered her with praise, recognized her in meetings and gave her a leadership role. Her performance went through the roof.
Find out what is most important to them and then help them get it.
2. Be a Mirror
Many of us grow up with a feeling that we are not good enough. This is usually created in childhood, from something as small as a slap on the hand when we misbehaved or something bigger such as abuse or neglect.
We can overcome this nagging sense of insecurity from repeated successes, outside support and personal growth. But many of us never truly believe in ourselves.
We may be confident in one area and feel like a failure in another. I see this all the time with people who are successful at work but can’t seem to get it right in relationships.
When you want to help someone build their confidence and belief in themselves, you must first believe in them.
When you believe in their ability, you become a mirror for their greatness. Your confidence allows them to take chances and gives them the strength to overcome obstacles.
When they succeed, they become more confident and begin to develop faith in themselves. When they fail, stay committed to their success and help them get back on track. Tell them stories about others who have failed over and over again, remind them that it’s about progress, not perfection, help them learn from there mistakes, shake it off and get back on track.
We all believe in our children… or do we? So many kids have dreams, desires and talents. Parents will project their own fears onto their kids and actually do damage without knowing it.
A friend of mine has a daughter that is a unbelievable gymnast. She has extraordinary talent for her young age of 12. Her mom is supportive and takes her to every practice and completion. She sees the intense desire in her daughter’s eyes, but it also scares her.
You see, she does not want her baby to be hurt or disappointed. She was disappointed as a child when she didn’t make the cheerleading team. It broke her heart and affected her high school years in a negative way.
Recently, she told her daughter just before a big competition, “You will do great honey. I believe in you. But don’t be disappointed if you don’t make the team, there are a lot of talented girls out there. Do your best and have fun”.
The mom is trying to protect her daughter, but what she did, unknowingly, was install a thought into her brain that she may not make it because the other girls were better than her. That thought will be with her at the competition and throughout her life. She believes in her but then cancels it out with the projection of her fear.
Motivating others is easy. You just need to do one thing….”Find the gold.”
Everyone has a gift, a talent and something wonderful inside. Find that gold and shine a light on it. See their greatness when they cant see it.
See people as the best they can be, even when they are at their worst. Lift them up and help them fly.
Try this exercise:
When you talk to someone, ask questions, find the gold, acknowledge them and elevate them. You won’t have to say one word and they will think you are the greatest person on earth… because you listened…. you cared.
I know that YOU can inspire, motivate and help people reach their full potential. You have untapped power that can make a difference in the failure or success of another person, right now. How do I know this? Because I believe in you. 🙂
Love and Blessings,