One moment can change your life. You are going along, living happily, then BAM, life throws you a curve ball. You find out your husband is cheating on you, your mother dies, you lose your job, you have cancer, your child is on drugs. You go into shock, and denial. You try desperately to understand and then work feverishly to bring your life back to the way it was.
Life is just that way, isn’t it? We never know when these moments will come. We don’t get a warning.
One of the worst parts of living in California was dealing with earthquakes. An earthquake just happened in an instant, with no time for preparation. I remember waking up in the middle of the night terrified with my bed shaking violently like the Exorcist.
A hurricane, on the other hand, is much easier to deal with. I know a hurricane is coming well in advance and then I have the choice of leaving or staying. It makes me feel as if I have a little more control.
Life is full of hurricanes and earthquakes. No matter how hard we try to protect ourselves and control every single thing, we cant escape the fact that bad things happen.
For years I tried to control everything and protect everyone, including wrapping my children in bubble wrap. But inevitably, bad things still happened. I had to learn how to deal with it, instead of control it.
So many people I see try to control every part of their lives. It only leads to anxiety, because there are simply things we have absolutely no control over.
You may want your partner to change something that is hurting you and they won’t. So you push your boundaries and compromise until you disappear.
You can’t control their behavior, however, you have total control over yours. You can leave and create something new.
So what DO we have control over? Our actions and reactions – what we do and how we see things. Control of anything or anyone else is a fantasy.
We are lying to ourselves and then we wonder why we feel anxious and stressed.
Let go of the the things and people that you have no control over, they just worry you and keep you up at night. Get really good at managing yourself, changing your mindset and creating your own destiny. Focus on what you can do, ignore what you cannot. Change the way you see things and the things you see will change.
We must learn how to bounce back, recreate our life and be happy. Being depressed, dragging yourself to work every day, going through the motions and crying yourself to sleep is really no fun at all.
So many people say to me, “I am stuck”. Being stuck is an illusion. We all have the resources inside of us to find solutions to our problems. Being stuck can be an excuse for taking an action that scares us, or moving out of our comfort zone.
At any given moment you have the power to change anything about your life. You don’t have to be in a job you hate, a relationship that hurts you or 20 lbs overweight. Your destiny is in your hands.
Release the grip on the things you cannot control. Let go and let it be. Spend your energy working on yourself and creating a future you love.