I have a client who is at the top of her field. She is a mother of 3 and has been happily married for 20 years. On the outside, she seems to have it all. When I asked her why she came to see me, she said, “I don’t fit in. I feel like people will find out that I’m not really that good”.
Her feelings about her own worth was stopping her from reaching the next level.
Most of us suffer from some degree of insecurity. The feeling of not being good enough is inherent in the human condition.
We allow other people to create our value for us. We define ourselves by our careers, our fame or fortune, or lack of. If we are accepted and loved, we are good. If not, we are bad.
I have another client who is motivated by his low self-esteem. He is constantly trying to prove that he is good enough because deep inside he thinks he is not.
As a child he was always seeking his father’s approval. His Dad held him to very high standards, believing he was helping his son succeed. However, his son never truly felt accomplished because there was always something missing, or a level he failed to reach.
We all have defeating beliefs we have carried from our childhood. Parents are not perfect and they do the best they can with the tools they have. I know, as a parent, I make mistakes every day that are hidden from my view.
I love this quote: “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
The truth is that we all want to look good, be accepted and feel accomplished. We all have fears and insecurities, but we only show each other our highlight reel.
Confidence does not come from the image you project to the world, it comes from how you feel inside. You must know your own value to really feel confident and secure.
I can’t tell you the number of people I have worked with over the years who had incredible talent – literally a gold mine of potential inside them. But they were not claiming their own power. They were selling themselves short. They were happy, but something was missing. They were always “working” on the same old issues year after year, with no real progress.
If you believe you are great, you will be. If you doubt yourself, you may still be great, but you won’t truly feel you deserve it. It’s as simple as that. You are the only one who can make you what you want to be.
When you feel uncomfortable and the defeating thoughts emerge, you must cut them off immediately. Realize that these thoughts and beliefs are coming from the past and do not serve you anymore. They are like an old shirt that doesn’t fit. Take off the shirt and throw it away.
Put on a new shirt that represents who you really are now: confident, accomplished, talented, powerful and capable of achieving anything you want. That is who you have always been, however, these limiting beliefs have covered it up for years.
It’s time to wake up to your true self and remember why you were put on this earth.
Before you were born, you were given a gift. God handed you a big box with a huge red bow and said, “This is your mission on earth.”
Then He said, “You will encounter obstacles of the mind that will make you question this gift but you will never lose it. I have given this gift to you. What you do with it is your gift to me. “
What are you doing with your gift? Are you living up to your true potential or are you living in self-doubt?
Never, for one moment, doubt your self-worth. You were made for greatness and it’s time to get out there and be who you really are.