I was in the emergency room with my son yesterday. He almost passed out at lunch with no explanation. I was terrified because of his history of cancer, so we rushed to the hospital right away.
As I was sitting at his bedside, I felt helpless. My old fears resurfaced and I went right back to when he was 11 years old and I was waiting for test results that would mean life or possibly death. My heart rate went up and it felt like I was going to pass out!
I felt completely out of control. Nothing I could do or say could change what was happening in that moment. I had no control over his body, the test results or the doctors. I had no control over his future. There was only one thing I had control over – my mind.
I took a deep breath and decided to stop thinking about the past and creating terrifying scenarios of the future. I focused on my faith and prayed silently. I filled my mind with positive thoughts. I made him laugh. I watched Sponge Bob. I chose to believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would be ok and that I would be ok no matter what happened that day. And I kept repeating this cycle until I calmed down.
Later, the doctor came in with the results and everything was normal except for the fact he was dehydrated from a virus. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and said a thank you prayer. Then I felt like having a martini, or two!
We all want to have control. We want to know everything is going to be ok. We are afraid of the unknown and we want answers and clarity. But life is hard. We face so many challenges, many of them completely out of our control. Our desire to control what cannot be controlled steals our peace and causes suffering.
To have true happiness, we must focus on what is in our control and do something about it. You have control over your reactions, perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Learn to master these areas and you will see incredible change in your happiness and fulfillment.
A couple of great books for you to read on this subject are Mind Power, by John Kehoe and The Power of the Subconcious Mind, by Joseph Murphy. These are two of my favorite books!
A clear sign that you are controlling the uncontrollable is when you obsess and worry. Worrying about the future doesn’t help your tomorrows, it only empties today of it’s strength.
When you find yourself worrying, get out your mental toolbox and get to work…
Focus on your Faith
Change your thoughts and perception
Create an empowering meanings and stories
Make good choices
Repeat positive affirmations.
Breathe and Believe that things will work out
Let Go and let God have control (He’s knows what he’s doing)
Make a firm decision not to allow another person or event to control how you feel and wreck havoc with your emotions. It is possible to feel peace in the midst of chaos. It’s also much easier to make decisions when you are calm.
If you look back on your life, 98% of the things you worried about never happened anyway. Things usually work out for the best, and if they don’t, it usually leads you to a better place.
When you let go of what you can’t control and focus on what you can, you begin to heal from past hurts. You live in the moment and spend time on what matters the most. You feel confident and more in control of your life.
When you think of the millions of things we can’t control in our lives, it seems silly to invest and ounce of energy on any of it. We are only here for a short time. We need to invest our energy into living and loving fully right now.
All you have is this present moment. Seize it!