I allowed myself to get caught up in someone else’s drama this week. I usually stay out of negative situations, but this one hit me right in the heart. My emotions were running wild.
It was difficult to focus because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I felt betrayed, hurt and confused.
I kept hearing those familiar words from well-meaning friends and family, “let it go Carrie”.
Telling someone to let it go is like telling them not to think of a pink elephant. We can’t just “let it go” when it feels like it’s stuck to our minds with super glue.
So I sat myself down in my office, looked in the mirror and had come-to-Jesus meeting.
I told myself that I refuse to allow someone to disrupt my peace. I have waaaaay too much going on and no time to obsess.
Then I did a little self-coaching.
When someone turns our world upside down, we have 2 choices. We can remain attached to it or we can detach from it.
If we remain attached to it, we will waste valuable time and energy brooding on useless thoughts and feelings.
When we are attached to something, it is hard to stay calm and centered. Staying attached will also lengthen the time to get over it.
When we detach from the incident, we can see it objectively, choose a different perspective and move into a peaceful state faster.
It’s similar to a rocket ship launching into space. Upon the launch, the rocket boosters detach from the rocket ship and parachute into the ocean. The rocket ship is now lighter and has more energy to reach its destination.
When something feels far away, it becomes less significant.
Here are some steps you can take to pull yourself together when you’ve come apart.
1. Take the incident, detach from it and see it far away…. just as if you were looking out of a rocket ship window and the issue were a little speck floating in the ocean.
2. Take a nice deep breath and decide that you will not allow another person to control your emotions. Deep breathing activates the body’s calming response.
3. Accept your emotions as valid and normal. Emotions give us valuable info about our situation and help us to learn our lessons.
4. Find a safe place to express your feelings– cry it out if needed. (This is one of my favorites… yes, I’m a closet cryer)
5. Sit down and write. Writing is a highly effective way to release emotions and process feelings.
You can ask yourself these questions:
• What about this situation is upsetting me so much?
• What is my part in this?
• Looking deep inside, what is this really about?
• What am I committed to here?
• How can I look at this in a different way?
6. Shift your focus. Get busy with something else.
7. Repeat as needed.
Soon the emotional charge around the issue will be gone and you will move into a peaceful state.
Remember, you do not have control over other people’s behavior, but you do have control over your reactions. And your reactions are what trigger your emotions so choose them wisely.
You are valuable, worthy and you have a great purpose in this world. In order for you to perform at your highest level, you need to feel centered and strong.
Rise above it all and stop giving people the power to steal your peace.