This past weekend, I was in Atlanta for my daughter’s cheer competition. She is on a celebrity team and when they perform, all eyes are watching. When they mess up, twitter is blowing up with negative press. The pressure is always on to live up to their reputation. It causes enormous stress for the athletes and the parents!
I thought about how we all want to be a accepted, respected and liked by others. We will do anything to avoid looking bad.
Does this hinder our own performance? Does this reduce our self confidence? It usually does. Unfortunately, the opinion of others plays a role in our self worth.
We want others to see us as a success and we enjoy being respected. We desire to have a certain status in our profession or community. We crave social recognition from colleagues, clients, bosses, family and friends.
This is part of being human – we invest alot of time, energy, money and brainspace in looking good.
Some people tiptoe through life, only saying and doing what is socially acceptable. They miss out on life. They miss out on being themselves.
The truth is, you cannot control the perception of others and you will never please everyone. There will always be haters. People will talk about you, period.
“There is alot of pressure put on me by others, but I don’t put a lot of pressure on myself. I feel if I play my game, the outcome will take care of itself.”
~Lebron James, NBA basketball star
We are human. We make mistakes. We will never have a 100% approval rating.
Focus on what you can control, and let go of what you can’t. Learn from your mistakes, spend your time getting better and not worrying about other people.
People are entitled to think whatever they want, just as you are too. Other people’s opinions can’t change who you are or your worth – unless you allow it.
There are people who love you, support you and understand when you make mistakes. They lift you up and make you feel good. Hang around these people.
Listening to gossip, especially if its about you, only makes you upset. Tune it out, and change the channel. Surround yourself with people who lift you up.
When you pay attention to the chatter, you take your eye off the ball. You stop acting, and you start reacting. Then you’re not living on your own terms — someone else is in control of you.
Remember, every person around you is caught up in their own problems. They are worried about what you will think of them too.
Stop mind reading. Craving approval causes you to read the minds of others. 9 times out of 10, you are wrong. Don’t get your exercise by jumping to conclusions.
I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.~ Mahatma Gandhi
Create uplifting statements you can say to yourself, such as…
“I give myself unconditional approval”
“ What do I need to focus on right now that is more important?”
“I am moving forward, not looking behind”
Relax and be authentic. Let people see the real you and allow yourself to be judged. This is great for self-growth and developing resilience. When you express who you truly are, people will think great things about you, and the ones that don’t won’t matter anyway. Instead of not caring what others think at all, begin by caring a little less. Be open to how they feel, then choose how you want to act. Care about what your special people think. Strangers should not dictate how you live your life.
Don’t push yourself to the point of not allowing criticism to help you grow. You know when you are off track, out of integrity or when you messed up. Take responsibility, learn from it and move forward. Don’t obsess over it.
Be more concerned more with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
~ John Wooden
Be yourself. Never give your power away by putting your self-worth in someone else’s hands. Know your own value from inside not the outside.
Remember, you are special. You have a purpose here on earth. There is only one you!