Have you ever had one of those days, or months, when things just aren’t going your way? The heaviness of life is weighing your down?
Problems are tricky things. Sometimes you attack them and feel strong as David fighting Goliath. Then other times, you feel like giving up and moving to Key West and being a bartender on the beach. (One of my favorites)
How do you make yourself feel good even though things aren’t going well at all?
When you hold on tight to how it “should be”, you feel stress.
When you want things to be different, your mind works feverishly to try to solve all your problems so you can get to your happy place. Your brain feels like a cage full of hamsters running on wheels – lots of action, but no real progress.
Recently, I decided to write a book. This book has been inside me for years but I kept finding rational reasons why it wasn’t time. My coaching practice was busy, my kids were busy and I was presented with one challenge after another. But, I took my own advice and started anyway. There is no better time than now.
So, my writing day consists of sitting in front of the computer, staring at the blank screen waiting for all my brilliant thoughts to come pouring out. No chance.
So I get up, make tea, eat, then sit back down at the computer and try it again. Then I become productive and check Facebook to see what my friends are doing. Suddenly, my phone beeps and I grab it to see my texts and emails. It could be Oprah asking when my book will be finished.
I have never experienced writer’s block until now. It’s reminds me of when I was single and I would meet a hot guy and stupid things would come out of my mouth, or I would just stand there and say nothing.
Then other times it feels like someone turned on a faucet and I can’t stop writing.
But wishing for the “flow phase” when I am in the “stuck phase” does me no good. I have to enter the world of acceptance.
Acceptance does not mean giving up. It is accepting where we are, who we are and who we are not. Stepping into our authentic self and loving it. Knowing that we are exactly where we need to be in our process. Knowing we are in the right place, right now.
Acceptance is that yummy place where you just let go of how it should be and feel happy no matter what.
Acceptance allows you to relax in the chaos. You can just be here now and allow your life to flow.
Sometimes you need to just let yourself be where you are. Give yourself the unconditional love you deserve. Give yourself a break from the hamster wheel. You will get there when you get there. It will happen when it is suppose to happen.
Embrace your current self, the good and the bad.
Don’t judge yourself and wish it were different. Give yourself a big hug and a pat on the back for where you came from. Encourage yourself to get where you are going.
Have goals and take action, but be happy in the process. Understand that the problems are part of the process and look at them in a more empowering way.
Practice self- validation.
It’s nice to be liked and appreciated. But don’t count on the words of others to build you up, motivate your or make you feel good. Make yourself feel good.
Depend on you to make you happy.
Examine your self-talk. What do you say to yourself?
“I can’t do it. “
“This always happens.”
“What is wrong with me?”
“Why do I feel this way? I’m tired of feeling like this.”
“Here I am again, back in the same place.”
“They are smarter, sexier, richer, thinner, more successful.”
“I don’t know what to do”.
“I’m sick and tired of this.”
“Why is this happening to me?”
You are what you speak and what you think. Motivate yourself and make yourself feel good. Be your own coach on the sidelines saying, “You can do it! Keep going! You are brave and strong – don’t give up!”
Love yourself and your life, without conditions.
If only I were 10lbs thinner
If only my husband would pay more attention to me
If only my boss would get fired
If only my children would listen
If only my business would make more money
If only I had more energy and felt better
If only I would win the lottery
“If onlys” make you feel like things are not okay. You beat yourself up, feel guilty and anxious.
Dump the “if onlys” and love your life right now, the way it is. Make a plan, get into action and change what you need to change. Go to work on yourself. Give your mind an upgrade, let go of the past and get excited about the future.
I recently started reading a book, Crazy Sexy Diet, by Kris Carr. Not because I want to become a vegetarian, but because I love her story. Kris was diagnosed with a rare, terminal, untreatable cancer. She was given just a few years to live. Instead of going into depression, she chose to accept her cancer and change her perspective. It’s been 10 years now and she feels better than ever, still with the cancer. This is a testimony to how the mind can control the body. Find her and follow her, she will inspire you.
My screen saver on my Ipad reads “Faith in God includes faith in His timing”. Everything has a time and a season in your life. Have patience and keep doing what you need to do, it will happen.
Today, you are in the perfect place. So relax and enjoy the ride. Change your perspective about your problems. Don’t overanalyze and worry. Love your life now.